I am constantly grappling with shame-based messages my brain keeps throwing up at me, so I decided to fuel my upset into poetry. I read this at an open mic last night, and I'm hoping I was able to educate some people on what dyspraxia is. (BTW, all of the verses are Haiku.)
Dyspraxia
This poem is an
apology to myself
for years of self-hate.
Dyspraxia is
an invisible illness
that makes you clumsy.
Let me give you some
examples of what I mean,
so you understand
When I trip over
air and run into the wall,
That’s dyspraxia.
When I reach for my
drink but, "Oops!" knock it over
That’s dyspraxia.
When I try to eat
Bread but inhale crumbs instead
That’s dyspraxia.
When remnants of lunch
Become part of my sweater.
That’s dyspraxia.
Keep dropping my keys
On the same ingrown toenail!
That’s dyspraxia.
When I awkwardly
speak garbled words that aren't clear
That’s dyspraxia.
How I manage to
Put shirts on backwards - both ways(!)
That’s dyspraxia.
When I look at a
map, my poor brain goes kaboom.
That’s dyspraxia.
When I step on a
crack I might break my own back.
That’s dyspraxia.
Before I learn new
skills I need to weigh the risks.
That’s dyspraxia.
I must preplan my
route through a room full of stuff.
That’s dyspraxia.
What seems easy to
you is more daunting for me.
That’s dyspraxia.
"You look so normal!
You must be making it up."
That’s dyspraxia.
"Why can’t you learn this?
You’re not trying hard enough!"
That’s dyspraxia.
"Don’t make excuses."
"Just get out of your own way!"
That’s dyspraxia.
Feeling a shame so
deep you want to disappear.
That’s dyspraxia.
When you wish you could
Be anyone else but you.
That’s dyspraxia.
Dyspraxia is
A disconnection between
The brain and body.
Communication
may break down, but that doesn't
mean that I'm broken.
- by Rachel Zirkin Duda © 2025

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